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Hello dweebs. Welcome to Cross-Shredding, the hockey and music blog that is really for our own amusement. We hope you like it….. Hey where are you going? Whatever.

We’re a little late to this game, but next thing you know we’ll be the overlords of the hockey blogosphere. Anyway, let’s get started:

The playoffs are well underway and the Tampa Bay Lightning have been hilariously swept by Montreal. Ben Bishop selfishly hurt himself and the rest of the team decided not to show up. The other series going on right now have seen both teams playing incredible hockey (except for one, which we’ll get to in a moment). We’ll be focusing on the games that are happening today for today’s post, but here are how the other series stand:

St. Louis - Chicago (Series tied 2-2)

Anaheim - Dallas (Series tied 2-2) *Hereafter referred to as Dallaheim

Pittsburgh - Columbus (Series incredibly tied 2-2)

New York Rangers - Philadelphia (NYR leads 2-1)

We’ll cover and make fun of those series tomorrow. Here are the game happening today (particularly the Sharks and Kings). Since we are also a music blog, we will pick a song we think describes what the game will be like.

BRUINS @ RED WINGS Game 4 (BOS leads series 2-1):

I wouldn’t call this game a must-win for the Detroit Red Wings, but it’s as close as you can get to a must-win game. In Game 1, Detroit was able to throw Boston of their game by taking a page out of the Bruins’ playbook: physical play. The Red Wings matched the Bruins’ intensity in Game 1 and Jimmy Howard stood on his head as the Red Wings took the first game of the series. Games 2 and 3 were a different story, though. Boston brought everything they had and Tuukka Rask proved that Finland would have won the Gold medal had he not gotten diarrhea in Sochi and missed the semi-final game against Sweden. The good news, though, for Red Wings fans is that Henrik Zetterberg is a game-time decision for Game 4. This means that Henrik’s back feels well enough to play and/or he needs a break from banging his Swedish supermodel wife. Zetterberg could be the spark the Red Wings need to overcome this big, bad Bruins team. The Joe will be rocking tonight, for sure.

Prediction: Red Wings - 3, Bruins - 2

Brad Marchand will do something stupid and an octopus will be thrown on the ice.

Song to describe the game: Without Me - Eminem (Guess who’s back? Back again? Henrik’s back, tell a friend.)

AVALANCHE @ WILD Game 4 (COL leads series 2-1):

The Colorado Avalanche are the most adorable team in the NHL and it isn’t even close. The average age of the Avs is 14. Their best players would not even be able to drink champagne in the locker room if they were to win the western conf….hahahahaha I can’t even finish that sentence. Jokes aside, the Avs have been very impressive in their first three games. Eighteen (18!!) year-old sensation Nathan MacKinnon and veteran Paul Stastny (who might have one of the best twitter handles in the game: @PaulyWalnuts26) are casually tied for 2nd in the league in postseason points with 7 each. What’s most impressive about this Avs team is that they’re cruising through this series without arguably their best player, Matt Duchene. However, backup goaltender Darcy Kuemper was able to frustrate the entire Avalanche team in Game 3 when he pitched a shutout in place of Ilya Bryzgalov, who is still not sure how big the universe is. If Zach Parise can get it going, the Wild have a chance at making this a long series.

Prediction: Avalanche win by a lot. Wild get scored on a lot. Darcy Kuemper still has better than a .900 SV% somehow.

Song to describe the game: Danger: Wildman - The Devil Wears Prada (the Wild are in danger. very pun)

SHARKS @ KINGS Game 4 (SJ leads series 3-0): (Get ready for some “knee” puns)

This is the game that we care about here at Cross-Shredding. LA has SUUUUUUUUUCKED big time and now all their fans are very sad. Game 3 was the kind of game everyone was expecting in this series after Jonathan Quick and the Kings’ top forwards decided they would actually try to stop the Sharks for a while. The Kings were honestly the better team for most of the game but The Cursl is still upon them and they lost by a flukey(?) goal by Patrick Marleau.  The Sharks, on the other hand, have knee’d some major ass in this series particularly the bottom two lines. Say what you will about Mike Brown and Raffi Torres, but those two are a major reason as to why this series is 3-0. The series is definitely not over though. The Sharks could decide to take the night off and the Kings could come out swinging being the puck possession juggernauts everyone expected them to be. In essence, the Kings kneed to win this game. The writers at this blog sure hope that isn’t the case. In any event, hold on to your knees, it’s gunna be a good one.

Prediction: Sharks - 1, Kings - 0. The game ends in double overtime when Jonathan Quick tackles the ref for what he thought was a blown call, leaving an empty net wide open for Tomas Hertl to score from the bench.

Song to describe the game: Sharks In Your Mouth - I Killed The Prom Queen